I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
