Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
