I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
