Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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