Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize