You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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