Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
a search helicopter?!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
