There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This toilet bowl is my home.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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