I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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