i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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