Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
