Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
