Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
