You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Pants are for mortals
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
