i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
