He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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