I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
3pm strippers are depressing
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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