i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
