i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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