i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
