Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
