then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
