I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
