Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
