My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
