I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
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