so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the day after is always just damage control
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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