Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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