you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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