Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
