I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
