Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
