I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
