so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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