I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
