You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I need a hoe opinion
go on
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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