the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
