I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
