We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
