she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
