Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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