There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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