My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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