My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
