She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
