it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
