But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
