Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
