'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
