Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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