Im at strip club and am horny
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He? As in you personified your dick?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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