The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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