I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
