no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
